Sunday Breakfast
I was all ready in my green dance costume when my mom called me down for breakfast.
"Surprise, surprise," I murmured.
I knew it was likely going to be eggs, and it was.
"How's my green dancer!" my mom asked, a little too excitedly.
"Mom i'm not a baby you don't have to talk to me like one!" I roared.
"Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," she mumbled.
We gobbled down our eggs and were out the door just a few minutes later. I danced my heart out and we started back home. We arrived home only to see smoke swimming around our house! I was petrified by how much smoke and gas i could smell. I guess now I know not to forget to turn the stove off after eggs.
In your third line it says "Mom i'm not a baby..." You need a capital I for I'm
ReplyDeletealso a line above that is a question and it needs a question mark.
Great story though, I really enjoyed it
I really liked how you used a lot of really descriptive words, such as "roared" and "gobbled." In your second to last line you forgot to capitalize the "I." But other than that great story.
ReplyDeleteI really love your story! That was a great idea and has good word choices. I don't really have anything to fix.
ReplyDeleteBe sure to use the feedback given to you by your peers. You are missing some important capital letters. Great word choice with petrified, roared, and mumbled. I like the last line how it shows what the character has learned.
ReplyDeleteI did not understand the last sentence but I liked your story.
ReplyDelete