Every Which Way Hallways
Maya and I didn't see the creature that had followed us the night before. So we started running, but all of the hallways seemed to lead everywhere and nowhere? Maya tapped me on the shoulder, I was so deep in thought I hadn't realized I had stopped running.
"What are you doing?" Maya screeched.
"Sorry..." I said in disbelief, "Is that a door?"
We jogged towards the door, and as we reached it Maya placed her hand on my back,
"Go ahead, open it."
I reached for the doorknob...the door opened and there it was, a gigantic black bear! We stared as the bear stepped closer. Then took of his head? Turns out it was just my brother playing a prank on us.
I love your story and the twist ending. Its a little choppy to me, so if you read it out loud it will help. Great story!!!!
ReplyDeleteWell written. Great job with your punctuation. I love your ending as I wasn't expecting the bear to be your brother. A challenge for you in the future is to have a story with a big idea or message, something that makes the reader pause and think. This might mean writing more than 100 words but then revising it down to 100 words. An example might be some of the picture books we read with important messages for the readers to take away.
ReplyDeleteThis 100WC was very well-written: you used punctuation, varying vocabulary and speech very effectively- I felt like I was in the story with you!
ReplyDeleteSomething else I enjoyed was the plot twist at the end- I had no idea the bear would be your brother!
A very enjoyable read.
Emily, Team100, Sheffield, UK